Editor's Note Experiencing unconditional love By Darcy L. Fargo

April 29, 2020

I’m not proud of this, but it’s true: I was a dreadful teenager.

While I was a model student and relatively well behaved in public, I was a nightmare at home. I had a bad attitude, a hot temper and a big mouth (I still have that last one). The combination got me into trouble fairly frequently at home, where I was known for launching into tirades at my sisters and my parents, especially my mother, who was the disciplinarian of the house (my father was sort of a cream puff when it came to discipline; if my sisters and/or I cried, he’d negotiate on punishments).

I know I said some horrible things to my mother over the years. If she disciplined me, corrected me or gave me a job I didn’t like, there was a good chance I’d resort to yelling, hurling insults at her or otherwise pitching a fit.
As a result, mom would usually increase whatever punishment/work she was trying to give me in the first place. Eventually, I’d calm down, at least until the next perceived slight.

Despite how horribly I sometimes treated her, my mother never stopped loving me. She may not have always liked me, but she always loved me, and she always showed her love.

Why did I think of that this week?

I had a rough week. There isn’t one thing I can point to that tipped me off, but the effects of isolation and relative home confinement seem to be compounding, and I was struggling with that.

I was sad. I was angry. There were moments when I raged at God. I was mad that (as I viewed it at the time) He’s allowed this to continue. I was mad that I felt unable to see the lessons I’m supposed to be learning from this point in time, and I was generally frustrated with the situation.

Then I felt even worse. I felt guilty for being angry with God.

Then I thought of my mother’s handling of my teenage years.

While raging at God probably isn’t the best way to handle my emotions, I know God will absorb my anger and continue loving me. He’s the ultimate parent. He loves us even when we’re not at our best. In fact, He loves us even when we feel unlovable. He just loves us.

I’m sure I’m not done having rough days. I’m sure that angry part of my personality will surface again. Despite that, I’m blessed to have a God (and a mother) who still love me.

That makes the rough days better.